Newsletter - November 2018 - Show Dates + Trip Back to Malaysia + Aircon

Hello newsletter people and new joiners to my list! I’ve had a few new signups from my Comedy Central clip that aired last month, thanks for stopping by!

If you’d like to see me live, I’ll be gigging at a few clubs in London, Bath, Bristol, Nottingham, Cardiff over the next months:

24/11 Bath - Komedia

29/11 London - Top Secret Comedy Club

1/12 Bristol - Comedy Box

14/12 London - Top Secret Comedy Club Late Show

25-26/1 Nottingham - Glee

1-2/2 Cardiff - Glee


I went on my yearly trip back home to Malaysia. I think the Malaysian airlines incident has made me scared of flying now. Any moment of turbulence hits I think to myself oh no this is it! I’m done! And the last thing I’ve done with my life is watch Mall Cop 2! I’ve tried getting drunk before a flight, that doesn’t help either. Oh quick tip, if you pretend you’re going to buy some expensive whisky at the duty free shops in Heathrow airport, they just feed you with free samples. Why start drinking only when you’re in the air?

During a meet up over lunch a friend of mine asked, “Are you getting used to the heat again?” “Not really. Well, it’s not the heat it’s more the humidity”. Everyone else just looked at me confused, “Humidity? What in the world is that?” “Oh you know, the water in the air. It just makes the air feel heavy, you know?” Long pause. And I quickly added, “See, it says the humidity is over 90% in my weather app.” And then I realised what a Western thing to do, checking the weather app! We never really cared about the weather in Malaysia. As far as we’re concerned there’s 2 weather types: raining or not raining. We didn’t need an app for that, just look out the window! Most Malaysians probably don’t even know the iphone has a weather app - it’s usually tucked away on the last screen inside multiple folders.

Also we don’t care about the weather as much because we have wonderful air conditioning everywhere we go. Even the oldest, most rundown cars had glorious air conditioning that you can put all full blast, and what ensues is the most wonderful sound of “PUUUUUUUUHHHHH”. And you’d to shout over each other because the aircon was so loud, “I CAN’T REALLY HEAR YOU OVER THIS AIRCON!”

“PUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH…”

“WHO CARES? WE’RE. REALLY. COMFORTABLE!”

It’s not just the heat. Malaysia takes rain to a whole different level too. Drizzle? None of that weak shit. We’d have these huge thunderstorms. Sometimes it rained so hard with lightning so severe that my parents would unplug our electronics because the lightning would fry them otherwise. That’s how you knew which things in the house were important to us. Computer? Unplug. Rice cooker? Unplug. My brother’s playstation? Nah just leave that in that’s not that important. I feared thunderstorms as a kid. The crack of thunder would just be too sudden, too shocking, and although you could tell one was going to hit when you see a lightning flash, it still never prepares you. When people in the UK tell me, “Oh it’s pouring down!” I always think to myself oh you haven’t seen nothing yet. Has your fuse box been fried? Has it rain so hard you lost reception on both your TV and cellphone?

Moving to the UK was the first time I’ve heard anyone describe weather as mild. There was nothing mild about the weather back home. It was aggressive and out to get you. So in an attempt to spite nature and its unbearable conditions we’d build these GIANT malls filled with cutting edge air conditioning units. Malls so big that you could get lost in, comfortably of course. The biggest mall in Malaysia is probably bigger than the size of London’s Soho (don’t quote me on this, never really measured it, I just felt more tired walking through a mall in Kuala Lumpur than I did walking through Soho). They’re so big I’m surprised nobody’s invented GPS for them yet: “When you see the Apple store, turn right. Walk for 20 minutes and you’ll arrive at your destination: the second Apple store in the same mall.”

It’s funny how your attitude towards heat changes once you live in a place without it. I actually like heat now! Saunas, steam rooms, jacuzzis, the whole lot. That’s a new development for me. It’s hot in Malaysia all the time - I’ve never locked myself in my car and called that a spa day. Just me sipping on an Aperol spritz in the front, seat reclined. Thinking to myself man I’m loving this heat and humidity.

Nigel

Newsletter - September 2018 - Comedy Central Appearance + Crazy Rich Asians

Hello folks! I’ve had a fair few people sign up to the list during my Edinburgh Fringe run so if you just joined recently, thanks for coming to see me at Edinburgh and welcome to the list! Edinburgh was really fun. Was great to see so many Asians coming down to watch the show, never knew there were so many Malaysians in Edinburgh! If you want to catch me live some time, I travel all over the UK and have my gig list up at my site.

I have some EXCITING news! I’ll be on Comedy Central’s Standup Central on October 10th. It’s my first TV appearance ever so I’m pretty excited for it to come out. Remember to tune in! Or, more likely, remember to click on the URL that I’ll be posting on all the social media channels. It’s going to be a good one!

Is making a mediocre movie good for Asian representation? Is making a mediocre movie good for Asian representation?

The Asian world (ok, more like just on twitter) is all abuzz right now with the movie Crazy Rich Asians. And I just saw it a few hours ago! Oh man, it was pretty boooring! I guess it’s pretty cool to see a cast of all Asians in a movie, where none of them know kung fu (finally!). But on the other hand it was just a mediocre romantic comedy. It was just rich people doing rich people shit. The whole movie felt like a 2 hour long Singapore tourism ad.

Remember the Rush Hour franchise? Back then no studio PR team was going look at the diversity in this movie. A black guy and a Chinese man working together! Look at the diversity! See how inclusive we are! Shanghai Noon! Chinese guy and Owen Wilson in cowboy hats! Look at the representation.

Yeah it’s a movie about Asians, but they’re not portraying regular Asians either. These are like cartoonishly rich Asians. The movie opens with the mum character getting annoyed at a hotel for not honouring her reservation. She calls her husband, and the husband BUYS THE HOTEL! Oh wow, that’s SUPER relatable. Totally what normal Asian people do. I’ve never been at a Pizza Hut, “Oh you put pineapple on my pizza? I own this place now. Go mop the floor.” If you changed the race of the people in the film, it wouldn’t fly at all. Could you imagine if they made a film called Crazy Rich White People? People would be outraged! Why are we celebrating the 1% in these times? Millenials are struggling to get by because avocado toast is too expensive!

Also, there’s always been lots of Asians in movies, they’re called foreign films, but nobody seems to give a shit about those. But with Crazy Rich Asians it’s like people went, “Finally, a movie with Asians but with no subtitles! Asians who only speak English! I can get behind that!”

I’ve never gotten why subtitles are so hated. Growing up in Malaysia most of the movies I watched had subtitles. Multilingual ones even. Every piece of dialogue has 3 lines of text, one for each language. I think still got the gist of movies! I watched Titanic with trilingual subtitles when I was a kid, and I definitely remember the main plot points - Kate Winslet getting drawn in the nude and something about an iceberg. You never forget the first movie boobs you saw. I was still a child and found it hysterical. Look!! Boooobies! Eww…

I think if subtitles are able to distract you from the film, that’s a SHIT FILM then! There are sounds, images, plots, characters but you’re distracted by a bunch of white text? On the bottom edge of the screen? How boring is that movie?

Anyways, be sure to keep an eye out for the Comedy Central clip I’ll be sharing soon! And skip Crazy Rich Asians. Well if you really want to support our people, buy a ticket, but don’t go watch it. Or do the proper Asian thing and just pirate it. That’s what a Normal, Regular Financial Means Asian wold do.

Nigel

I send a newsletter out every 2-3 months with lives dates and other funny stuff. Why not sign up?