Newsletter - November 2017 - Dublin, Piracy

Hello newsletter people and new joiners to my list! TLDR: Scroll to the bottom of the email for show dates, or read through for my thoughts on Tayto park and foreign travel advice.

I gigged in Dublin back in September and found out about this amazing thing they have in Ireland - Tayto park. A potato theme park! With Europe’s largest wooden roller coaster. That to me was the most hilarious thing. I ran with the idea and performed it that night. Apologies for the shitty audio, it was recorded on my phone which was in my pocket. But it kinda has a bootleg quality so if I ever get big people can go, “Have you listen to the B-sides? Oh man you call yourself an Ng fan and you don’t know his tayto park bit?”

In other news, I’m going to Cuba in December. In preparation I did some quick googling for travel advice and found out has a foreign travel advice section. How convenient! So I clicked on it and boy do I regret it now. It’s like they don’t want people to travel at all! You know how when you google your symptoms on WebMD you get the most horrifying shit - maybe it’s a cold, maybe it’s cancer - well that seems to be what travel advice is, but for travel.

I thought their advice on Cuba was bad, until I googled Malaysia to see what the folk there had to say about it. Here are some of our sparkling reviews:

Terrorists are very likely to try to carry out attacks in Malaysia. Attacks could happen anywhere, including in places visited by foreigners.

There is a threat to foreigners of kidnapping and criminality off the East coast of Malaysia. A number of hostages have been murdered by the group

Incidents of bag snatching are common, including by thieves on motorbikes.

Piracy in South East Asian waters is an ongoing problem. There have been a number of attacks against ships in and around Malaysian waters

Wow. I didn’t know I’d been living in a terrorist/pirate war zone for my entire youth! They make it sound like it’s Zero Dark Thirty meets Captain Phillips out there. It’s not that bad, guys. Maybe the odd case of food poisoning, and a mosquito sting or two. Oh yeah mosquitoes have such a bad reputation here in the Western world. People here seem to think every mosquito carries all sorts of diseases like Dengue, Malaria, gout, but the reality is most mosquitoes are just harmless creatures trying to provide some human blood for their family. I’ve been stung by so many mosquitoes growing up it was just how life was. Sometimes I even see one on my skin, in the process of stinging me, and I just let it go on with its business. Live and let live.


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