Newsletter - Nov 2017

Hello newsletter people and new joiners to my list! TLDR: Scroll to the bottom of the email for show dates, or read through for my thoughts on Tayto park and foreign travel advice.

I gigged in Dublin back in September and found out about this amazing thing they have in Ireland - Tayto park. A potato theme park! With Europe’s largest wooden roller coaster. That to me was the most hilarious thing. I ran with the idea and performed it that night. Apologies for the shitty audio, it was recorded on my phone which was in my pocket. But it kinda has a bootleg quality so if I ever get big people can go, “Have you listen to the B-sides? Oh man you call yourself an Ng fan and you don’t know his tayto park bit?”

In other news, I’m going to Cuba in December. In preparation I did some quick googling for travel advice and found out has a foreign travel advice section. How convenient! So I clicked on it and boy do I regret it now. It’s like they don’t want people to travel at all! You know how when you google your symptoms on WebMD you get the most horrifying shit - maybe it’s a cold, maybe it’s cancer - well that seems to be what travel advice is, but for travel.

I thought their advice on Cuba was bad, until I googled Malaysia to see what the folk there had to say about it. Here are some of our sparkling reviews:

Terrorists are very likely to try to carry out attacks in Malaysia. Attacks could happen anywhere, including in places visited by foreigners.

There is a threat to foreigners of kidnapping and criminality off the East coast of Malaysia. A number of hostages have been murdered by the group

Incidents of bag snatching are common, including by thieves on motorbikes.

Piracy in South East Asian waters is an ongoing problem. There have been a number of attacks against ships in and around Malaysian waters

Wow. I didn’t know I’d been living in a terrorist/pirate war zone for my entire youth! They make it sound like it’s Zero Dark Thirty meets Captain Phillips out there. It’s not that bad, guys. Maybe the odd case of food poisoning, and a mosquito sting or two. Oh yeah mosquitoes have such a bad reputation here in the Western world. People here seem to think every mosquito carries all sorts of diseases like Dengue, Malaria, gout, but the reality is most mosquitoes are just harmless creatures trying to provide some human blood for their family. I’ve been stung by so many mosquitoes growing up it was just how life was. Sometimes I even see one on my skin, in the process of stinging me, and I just let it go on with its business. Live and let live.


Newsletter - Sept 2017

Hello newsletter people and also new joiners to my list!

I spent the whole month of August up in Edinburgh this year, doing the Pleasance Comedy Reserve at the Edinburgh fringe. It was my first time up at an arts festival – what a foreign concept! So. Many. Acapella. Groups. Why are they always so happy? Just snapping their fingers, smiling while singing. Why are you so happy man? Is it because you don’t use instruments? Is it because you found a group of people to do this weird thing with you? Stop it already with that shoo waap shoo waap thing. I’ve been to a few acapella shows during my time at uni, and that’s youth I’ll never get back.

I stayed in a flat with fellow showcase comics, one of whom was Danny from Dudley. The first day we met I introduced him to fish sauce at a Thai place and I think it blew his mind a bit. “Who knew you could make a sauce from fish? What is this? Fish sweat? Liquid fish? I’m from Dudley, if it ain’t HP, it ain’t a sauce!” Which was made even funnier because of his midlands accent that tilts up at the end of sentences. And a few days later we had kimchi, which he equally did not enjoy. “Pickled cabbage, man? I don’t even like regular cabbage! What is this shit?” Looking back now I think fish sauce and kimchi might have been a little over-adventurous. Should have eased him into it with ramen/Pad Thai/dumplings. Lesson learned. Hope he gives those a try in the future. I also tried a tattie scone for the first time. Just felt like a Scottish samosa to me.

Showcase pals! Danny's the guy on the right. Hates fish sauce with a passion. (That's now his Tinder bio) Showcase pals! Danny’s the guy on the right. Hates fish sauce with a passion. (That’s now his Tinder bio)

As with most festivals where young people with disposable income congregate, the fringe had street food everywhere. A Westernised version of it. Clean, nicely packaged street food that promises not to give you diarrhoea afterwards. I love street food. I grew up on it. It’s the common man’s food in Malaysia. But holy shit the street food here is all hip and cool and instagram-worthy. I saw a food truck selling creme brulee. CREME BRULEE! That’s not the spirit of street food! No Malaysian kid’s walking around going, “I could really do with a French burnt custard right now. Ooh look he torches it right in front of us!” (I can’t even type out the accent marks in brulee. If your food has accent marks in its name then that’s not street food. That’s posh restaurant food, just served from the back of a van.)

Their instagram page. I can't even Their instagram page. I can’t even

I went to a museum up here and saw two babies that looked like they’ve been through a lot. Who knew the renaissance was a tough time for infants.

I've seen some shit. Me too, twin brother, me too. I’ve seen some shit. Me too, twin brother, me too.

Real happy to be back home. Come check out a show and say hi if you get a chance! I got some new bits about sleeper trains and passing my driving test in Malaysia by bribing.


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